Hey there. Today is the 10 year mark. I knew this was coming up. I thought about it every now and then. And now, here we are on the eve of it. 10 yrs. ago tonight you said you wanted to help me. You asked what you could do to help. It was odd that you asked. For multiple reasons. All this was yours, too. I said the little boys needed a bath. You didn’t eat anything at supper, and then gave # 4 and #5, 5 yrs and 3 yrs. respectively, a bath. Then you went to bed.  And then, the next morning. Since you’ve been gone, a lot has happened. A lot of growth in those kids of yours. A lot of accomplishments. And, a lot of crap that we’re given, just because of the situation. A lot of stereo-typing and assumptions. Unfairness from some, and yet unending love and help from others. Most of the time from the people you don’t expect it from.

Your oldest is quite the man. The world doesn’t see it or reward him for it, but he continues on. He welds full time at a structural steel business. When he hired on, he was the youngest and took A LOT of hazing from the old guys. He almost quit multiple times. He’s built beams for casinos, with his initials in them, that he wasn’t even old enough to get in to. Not that he would want to.  The crap they put him through. But he mastered flipping his helmet down, listening to his podcast, and out working all of them. He is such a hard worker.  He’s earned rapport and respect. Every single day he pulls out of the drive at 4:45 am, and works every hour they will give him. His farm skills have earned him a maintenance title, trust with parts runs and ideas. Greg at church helped him get the interview. You can thank him when you see him next. He willingly and faithfully helps here after work during calving and hay season, and any repairs that need done the rest of the year. The community gives him a ton of crap for living at home yet. No kidding. He pulls his weight here, pays his own way, and helps on top of that. You lived at home until you were 22- when we got married. But for some reason, this one gets a ton of crap for merely sleeping here. He keeps the kid and night watch for me when I’m gone at meetings and conferences.  A shift that no one else wants to do, but gives him a hard time for. He helps me with minor house and vehicle repair. Countless pickups at airports and Enterprise.  He is doing a stand-up job that a Christian man should do. Jesus sees it. I just wish other people did. He is not a Dave Ramsey basement dweller. You should here the crap people say to him.  You’d be real proud of his current project in the shop, and would have enjoyed doing that with him.  I know I am.

Your #2 has also blazed a trail of his own. It’s been a little bit harder of a road. It’s taken a lot of tough love, grace, and forgiveness, but you should see him now. He’s due to be married to a sweet neighborhood girl, and doing all that he can to fulfill his responsibilities to provide and protect. He even left a job at the university, with all the benefits, because of the integrity and moral issues there, to work for a neighborhood farm closer to home, even though he has a business degree. He’s gone out on his own. Rents a house, pays his own way. Drives a van while he works on his truck, because he’s great at math.  He talks to the younger kids about Jesus every now and then when he’s here.  I’d still say I think he misses you the most of all the kids. He has a sensitive heart. He hears things that others say, a little too much.  He values family more and more as the days go on. He is a family man, loves music, always opens doors when we go anywhere, and helps others. The stories he shares of picking up people on campus and giving them rides, I almost don’t care to hear them. But he’s a big guy. He’s a helper. He recognizes what it’s like to be down and out sometimes, to have a good run of bad luck. He helps those people.  When the two older boys do anything tough together, we reference the ol’ veggietales movie, Moe and the Big Exit. Aaron (#2) does the talking, and Moe (#1) does the thing with the stick……..

Now, let’s move on to your daughter. Your daughter has phenomenally filled the gaps in skills that I don’t favor, and does them willingly. She is a very unique blend of domestic talent mixed with tom boy traits that has her driving the first manual-transmission pick up of any of the kids. She bought it from a young farm family in Kansas. She hired Doug to haul it for her.  With her own money that she earned from her show steers and her work here on the farm. Problem is, she doesn’t quite listen to me the way she would have listened to you, her dad. I told her she took her turns a little too fast. I told her to put some weight in the bed of that gorgeous 17 yr. old candy red F250. I told her when it was low on brake fluid, that something else was wrong. But my word doesn’t carry the same weight to daughters as their dad’s does. So the other morning, while I was away, she ditched Ruby Red real good on Bliss Rd near Taft, just shy of M57. No worriers though. Our neighbor and friend Dustin came to her rescue. Be sure to thank him when you see him next.  Pulled it out, gave her direction, a pat on the back with a few words of comfort, and sent her on her way home. The lesson will just cost her a new exhaust and bumper, and whatever is wrong with the brake system, thankfully. She has won multiple awards at the county fair, including Grand Champion Dairy Market Steer this past year. I didn’t want to let her take two. I was against training that red belted cross-bred thing to the fair. I swore we were going to be the laughing stock of the county. But. She continued on. She trained two, she signed two up, and she helped with much of the organizing and driving for fair week. And low and behold, pardon my language, but I shit you not, your daughter had 2 of the 4 dairy steers in the final round for Grand Champion, including that home grown red belted cross bred. That girl gets an idea in her head, and she goes for it. She is set to graduate high school this year, a year earlier then her peers, and with one more year at Ferris State University, she will have an associate’s degree.  She entered a national quilt contest, didn’t make the final, but got a nice prize at the fair. She’s a neat mix of the both of us. It is hard to teach her how she should be treated, without your example. But God is awesome and doesn’t need me to do great things in her life.  The boys do a good job of protecting her. Be sure to thank them when you get a chance.

Our #4, the one that we hem-hawed about on his name for a hot minute (most of the day), is such a tried and true farmer. He is witty, self-driven, motivated, a quiet helper. His work ethic is unmatched. He picked up his wagon backing skill from #2, his maintenance skills from #1, his cooking skills from #3, and his cow skills from yours truly. This kid can tell you who is going to calve in the next 12 hours, without fail. He’s learning about forages and feeding them, and is often ahead of all of us on what needs done. He has a heart of an old soul gentleman that the world needs more of. He is systematic, likes things done in order, and kept in order. This kid holds the record for the heaviest steer at the fair- EVER. He took an 1800lb+ into that ring, with his leading hand way above his head, in total control. It was impressive. He doesn’t care what other people think. He just shows them by doing. He’s thoughtful and kind hearted. He’s a bit torn between helping and caring for his older sister, attending youth group,  yet being a kid with his 1/16^th tractors, planting his corn, and having kid type fun. He just built the 4H steers a hay feeder out of an old chemical tote. It’s pretty cool. Last year he restored that ol’ Ford you got from your uncle Dale, with my dad. He finished it on the afternoon of the 3^rd of July, and drove it down to the hay field.  That was the first we’d seen it drive. But we bet on that drive, and took it to the parade in Portland the next day. He drove it through the whole parade successfully. You’d be proud.

#5 was three when you left, so he has the least memories of you, but the other kids are awesome at sharing fun stories with him. Awkwardly enough, he refers to you as “Rick”, which I don’t correct, so be for-warned when you see him next. He just got on payroll, and is super excited. He enjoys running the skid loader very much, and his 1/16^th farm set up takes over much of our living space flooring. Since his time in pre-school, up to current day, he has maintained wanting to “cut- trees”, then be a “logger”, and now a “lumberjack’. He is our corn grower, and has taken a few trophies on his corn from a farm that does not grow any corn. It’s just his little patch.  He’s a little hard headed, but he needed to be that way for the life he was dealt. The kids at school initially gave him a hard time for being a farmer and not so great at a few school things, but boy since he’s been at home, that phone rings with his former classmates on the other end. His smile is above and beyond, and he loves to wear his wranglers and western hat.  Since he got his new paying J-O-B, this last Christmas was a hoot. He had Grandpa take him shopping, and bought everyone something for “fun”, and something they could “use”.  He had so much joy as he handed his gifts out! He then went and bought DeWalt tools, just like you had, as they were on sale.

Me, well…I’m doing alright. I’m a mix of what you already somewhat knew. A mix of wondering what might have been, to pullin’ up the boot straps and getting’ the job done. Adventures abound while keeping the home front consistent. Not afraid to take chances, learn something new, fight for what’s right, serve the ag industry, yet pulled towards tradition and home making, and what’s “safe”. A tug of war between breaking barriers, defying statistics, but holding the conservative values- having enough but knowing I can’t take it with me when I go. Deciding on what's next.

  See you on the flip side.  10-4.