Making Merry Memories

I recently made a batch of our family's traditional Santa cookies.  Following in my mom's and Grandma's footsteps, I carefully followed all of the directions-although my cookies never quite turn out as good as Mom's.  How they turn out really doesn't matter to me, though.  Its following the tradition and the enjoyment of making them each year.  This year the snow was blowing horribly outside, and I hurried to finish the baking part before the afternoon milking.  While I worked and watched the driveway drift shut I remembered some of my favorite Christmas's from the past.  Although some of the gifts were pretty great, my best memories are the things that we did. This makes me wonder if our focus is all wrong.  The special things we do with the kids often come after all the other "stuff".  After we get the cookies done, after we get the shopping done, after we get the house cleaned, after we get the laundry done, after we get the chores done-sometimes there's so many "afters" we never get to the special things.  Here's some memories that are pretty special to me....

In first grade my mom and dad put the Christmas tree in the middle of the dining room.  They tied it to the top of the light and you could walk all the way around it.  It was awesome.  That year I had a horrible time waiting to open gifts.  On Christmas Eve, because I was SO desperate, my oldest sister handed me a gift from her, and said I could open it.  It was a small porcelain panda figurine.  I still have it.  After that year, we started opening gifts from each other on Christmas Eve, a tradition that we do with our kids now.

One Christmas Eve, after all the presents had been opened and most the food gone, we went cross country skiing.  The conditions were perfect, the moon was bright, and not a car in sight.  We went up and down Colony rd and looked at the lights.  The calm and peacefulness is unexplainable.   Its hard to put your finger on the kind of special that is Christmas Eve.

Another year my oldest sister put together 1/2 peck size bags of fruit.  Late into the night, after our party was over, we piled in the car and anonymously hung bags of fruit on people's doors.  We'd knock or ring the door bell and run away to the waiting get-a-way car.  Oh what fun that was!  A friend of mine at school the next week made sure I knew that she knew that it was us.  I think she missed the point-sometimes for the sake of other people's feelings it's just better to not be "right".  Sometimes reveling surprises wrecks it more for the giver than the receiver.

Around middle school it was decided that we would attend the neighboring church's midnight Christmas Eve service.  We arrived at 11pm and sat two or three rows up from the back.  The bulletin listed all the songs, some with asterisks besides them, indicating that you should stand.  When it came time to sing the second song, our whole pew stood.  There must have been some sort of miscommunication between the worship leader and the bulletin printer, because we were the only ones.  S l o w l y we sat down  as we realized the situation.  I almost busted out laughing...then and when I think about it today!

Shortly after we got married, my mom needed help bringing her star down from the top of their 100+ft. silo to rewire it.  Rick climbed all the way to the top (it has a caged ladder), and begin to lower the star down with a rope and a hook.  Now if any of you are fans of the TV show The Price is Right, you'll know exactly what I mean when I say the minute that star came unhooked, it was like Plinko x100!  It clanged and clinked as it hit the caged ladder and fell half way down the silo.  We were able to bend it back into shape-sort of-for that year, but I can still here it clear as the day is bright when I remember that falling star.

Our first Christmas Eve as farm owners Rick and I opened a box from my sister and brother in law. It had a poem in it that went like this:
Star light,
Star bright,
First star I see tonight:
(Something, something)
(Something, something)
Out back behind the garage.
For those of you who enjoy the star on our silo, you can really thank my brother-in-law. He made it. And I love it.

We've had a multitude of very creative gifts over the years, but I'll never forget my senior year of high school.  I told mom and dad I wanted a tool box for the bed of my truck.  They said that was too expensive. I knew it was, but it really was what I wanted, I wasn't going to lie.  However, I wasn't counting on one at all.  Very early on Christmas morning, my mom yells up the stairs, in a not very Christmas-y type voice.  Almost out of breath, like.  I came down and there on the kitchen entry way rug was a tool box, with a can black spray paint taped to the top!  Unbelievable!  I never even noticed that Jack (the neighbor farmer) had gotten a new silver plated tool box until his old one turned up in mom and dad's kitchen.  I never even cared that it leaked a little bit.  I had the coolest truck EVER. On this side of 127, at least :)

Of course, the most important thing about Christmas is the gift of Jesus.  That is a kind of love bigger than any anonymous bag of fruit or bright shining star.  Although we can never match the gift of Jesus, we can do our best by focusing on the things that really matter-people.  Spend some quality time with people that matter to you. The memories might not always be perfect, but those are usually the best ones.

-Merry Christmas
-Terri

Under Attack Part 2-Homeschooling

You knew this was coming, right? Part 1 requires a "part 2", so here we go-today we'll open up the discussion on homeschooling.

The big picture offers parents three choices for their children's education: public school, private/charter school, and homeschooling.  Most every variation of education will fall under one of these three options.   Is having options for your child's education a bad thing?  We don't think so.  Every child and family is different.  They have different needs, learning styles, and God given talents (art or science, for example).  So why is it that some people are so threatened and offended by our homeschooling?  I think its from the lack of understanding-so I'm going to explain the answers to the most asked questions we get about homeschooling.

1. What is wrong with the public schools in your area?
     -Nothing.  We want our children to have a Christian education and cannot afford the parochial schools in our area for all of our children.  We want to install strong morals and ethics into the kids before we cut them loose into the real world, in hopes that they kick in when tough situations challenge the children.  I have a lot of christian friends who are public school teachers.  If I could put all of them into one school, public school would be more viable for us.  It seems as though a lot of times public school teachers have their hands tied behind their backs.  They can't say "God" or "bible", and walk a very fine line when it comes to any ethical or character training.
  -We also like the flexibility that comes with homeschooling.  We make our own schedule.  We still do about 150 lessons per school year, just maybe not on the same days as the other schools.  We can tailor the kids' education beyond the basics to their specific interests.  If they need to go slower, we can go slower. If they need to go faster, we can go faster.  Home schools do not necessarily create a bunch of over educated kids-but it might help them keep up with their peers.  We appreciate that in the elementary years our kids time spent doing school work is notably shorter,and that they have more time to play and "learn" outside.

2.  How long do you plan on homeschooling?
  -We take it one year at a time.  It would be foolish of us to say "forever".  We do not know what our circumstances are going to be in the future. We do not know God's plans for us.  We do not know how our children's needs will change over the years, or how our needs will change.  What we do know is that we want to do what is best for our kids right now, and that is homeschooling.

3. What about high school?
  -What about it? This is practically a direct insult to my own intelligence.  Will homeschooling high school be harder? Of course. Is it doable? Yes! I graduated from high school.  I even graduated from a certificate dairy program at MSU.  All of what we are teaching here is more or less a review for us (Rick and I).  One of the smartest things we can do is recognize our own weaknesses, and get outside help in those areas.  This might be a tutor; an online interactive class, or a community college class.  It may be a matter of choosing different curriculum and teaching method for that student.  With the curriculum we're using right now, we have the option of learning via lessons on DVDs, lessons online, or the very same lessons taught by me from the teacher's manual.  One key to being successful is knowing when to ask for help or ideas-and not being afraid to.
  -My own high school experience had many positive aspects, but unfortunately the ones I remember the most are the English teacher that swore all the time, and the math teacher who constantly talked about when I would be out of school and have a "real job"-you know, NOT milking cows.  Not to mention all the efforts put towards swaying the soon to be 18 year old registered voters (the seniors) into voting a certain direction in the upcoming election.

4.  Are you worried about their socialization?
  -This answer depends on who's asking it.  Some people just ask this because it's what they've been taught to ask-they don't even really know why they're asking it.  Other forms of the question include "Do they (the kids) get to do things with other kids?".   If the person comes across as judgemental, I'll throw them off by saying "yes, that's why they're not in public school."  A confused look appears and I follow with "there's a lot of things we don't want them to learn from other kids and teachers at this young age."  If the question is sincere, I simply explain that our children take music lessons, are involved in 4-H, church, summer camps, and have 19 cousins (on my side) to play with.  Our kids also have each other, us, and often they get to visit with people who come and go on a daily basis.  They get to interact with people of all ages.  And like I said earlier, our children's needs could change.  One of them might be more outgoing and need more time with friends, one might be more quiet and content with a smaller circle.

5.  Do you have to take a test to make sure you're competent enough to home school?
  -Someone actually asked this.  Our state has relatively relaxed rules when it comes to homeschooling.  Other states make you register as homeschoolers and report each year.  Knowing that we are responsible for our children's education is enough pressure to do the absolute best we possibly can, without having to make sure we align another person's standards of what they feel is important to teach.  Just like everything else, I am sure there are some homeschooling families who may be performing at sub par levels, or hiding behind the home school label.  I can't help that. And no, there's no test.

I don't feel that every family should home school, or that every family should attend public or private school.  I think they should do what's best for their family.  As a whole it would be nice if all sectors of the education system could work together, for the future.  Recently a teacher we attend church with excitedly shared a website with me, that I can benefit from. That was so nice of her!  By sharing with her some of our experiences, it just might help her understand how to help a previously home schooled student transition into public school.  There are always going to be kids transitioning from public to private or home school, and the other way around.  We may as well try to make it as stress-free as possible for the kids.

If you're a public school teacher, know that our homeschooling is not a put-down on you.  You are a very important part of our society.  We are not homeschooling because we don't think you are good enough.  We are homeschooling with very specific goals in mind.  Please don't feel offended.  Know that we are doing our best, and are genuinely concerned about our children's education.  Maybe instead of sharing that home school failure story with us, you could offer up some words of encouragement, and together we can work towards raising responsible, caring, and loving adults.

Under Attack Part 1-The Kids.

Recently it seems as though our whole life has been under attack.   Its getting so I just hope I don't see anyone I know at the store, or consider not going to an event, because I just get tired of having to defend ourselves.  When did Christians, of all people, become so judging, especially of each other?

Awhile back we took the family to a corn maze.  As we turned around the bend, we heard another couple exclaim "They've got FIVE KIDS!".  First off, its just corn, people. Not walls, just corn.  We can hear you.  In fact, everyone can hear you, there is a lot of "ears" in there (LOL).  Lets put our 5 kids into perspective.
1.  5 is twice as many as the average American family, yet half (or less) than the average Mennonite family.  When we had four, some friends said to us "you're just in the honeymoon stage!" :)
2.  Our kids are taken care of. They have food (high quality, at that), clothing, shelter and education.  We are not on government assistance (for now-I am considering checking out Obamacare, which automatically signs you up for medicaid, which is tax payer funded).
3.  Our kids's original parents are still married to each other.  Now a days, it's a big deal.

People ask us if we're trying to be the Duggars.  Or if we're tying to "get our own TV show".  Honestly, I would have no problem being as smart as those people.  They have took their life and figured out to make a financial living just by showing people how they live. Genius.  They are going to do laundry and meals anyway, so why not? But again, two married people, raising their family in line with the Word, living debt free, not on government assistance, getting criticized because of how many kids they have.  Do the older kids help with the younger kids? Of course they do!  Isn't it our job as parents to raise children who can function in their adult life?  Isn't is our job to teach them how to maintain a home, car, and change a diaper in case they have kids?  Do we want to raise kids that think the whole world revolves around them, or do we want children that grow into adults serving others with a selfless attitude?

We know people who choose not to have any kids, and we're fine with that. We don't go around harrassing them about it all the time.  We know people who have two children.  Same thing.  One thing we try to never say is "When are you going to have another one?"  How many children a couple has is their business, and hopefully confirmed by God.

Often we don't realize how our comments can affect other people.  I'm sure we have said things that have been offensive to others( and I apologize about that).  Just not about their kids.....

-Terri