Performance Pressure

There is so much performance pressure in life now that even how we spend our time off is causing anxiety. At least for me.

 

“Live in the moment”

“You don’t get this moment back”

“You only live once”

“Make the best of every moment”

“Your kids don’t get any younger”

“You don’t get a second chance”

We now have a check list of the relaxing, stress relieving things that we need to accomplish on our days off, causing more stress. Really?

 Coffee in the quiet. ✔

Run in the sunrise (crap, missed that because I was having coffee)

Sleep (how am I supposed to sleep if I am supposed to catch the sunrise?)

 

Catch up on personal projects (relaxing?)

Catch up with a good friend (but wait, I’m supposed to be spending time with the kids. I don’t get those moments back….)

I really struggle with this. I am literally torn between enjoying my coffee in the quiet, reading my devotions, thinking, or having a just a few cups and getting that morning run in, or sleeping.  My time off is so limited that I feel like if I don’t get it  just right I’ve wasted the day.

This is ridiculous. And how in the world did we get this way?

This morning I choose the coffee route. I read more than usual. I sat there longer than I should have. #1 came in from chores, the rest got up. We all sat in various spots in the kitchen. At a quarter till 8 I voiced how we should “get going”, how “we’re late getting started",  and “what should we do first?”  Along with, “I wonder what other people do on their day off.” With very loud laughter that defines my house, #1 said “They’re still sleeping!” and mimicking our former FSA officer, #2 said “this is NOT normal!” LOL. Love these kids.

Honestly….there are a few times when I just don’t tell people if I’m not being productive. If I just sat there and did nothing.  It’s not very often (oh look, back on defense) but even then I don’t want to subject myself to the judgment of the world of whether I am using my time appropriately, making the best use of every moment that we don’t get back.

It’s true-we don’t know if we get a “tomorrow”.  But worrying about that in itself is really wrecking today.

I don’t have the answer. I have a love / hate relationship with social media where we see how others are spending their time “off”, and subconsciously comparing ourselves to that. Automatically, without even realizing it. Maybe it’s less social media…somehow. But not until I share this on social media.

It’s now almost 9am. I’ve got coffee in and an impromptu blog post. That’s it. On the schedule for the day is our normal Saturday house chores, hopefully some bale moving and wrapping, and a few other odds and ends off the farm list. Better get going! I got to make sure I leave time for that check list above…

 

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3

 

The Truth....About Vacation.

Ha Ha Ha.....

A continuing frustration about a trip with the kids is other's expectations. They want to hear and imagine this fairy tale break from the farm where everyone is smiling and rested and laughing together, where I get "time to myself" (?).

In reality, kids still fight. You just can't discipline them quite the same (or as loudly), they still get sick, they still misbehave, they still want to eat. Not just the normal but EXTRA because it's "vacation". There is still laundry, dishes, food prep, activity planning, school work (for all). Everybody goes everywhere. Together. Groceries, everything. No, the older boys were not intended for watching the youngers. One does not simply leave kids in a condo unattended in a different state. Your phone goes exceptionally quiet because for some reason people think you want uninterrupted time with the kids and zero adult conversation what so ever. Because we don't spend every day together at home......

Why? Why...if it's so exhausting, somewhat expensive (relatively speaking, we do good here), stressful, etc.?

Because to be truly off you have to be absent. Physically not available.  Because I believe, while book learning is important, what they learn on these trips cannot be taught through books. It has to experienced. Because I have to have a break, if only for a few weeks. It's more like a "pause", the list will still be there. However if I'm not at home, I can't work on it. Because people don't understand that even if you're "off" at home, your mind is still working. You're only "off" if everyone shows up and there is not an emergency.

Was it exhausting? Yes.
Was it worth it? Yes.
Will I do it again? Yes.

Check out this post to learn how we organize and afford our yearly adventure. The Trip by the Numbers

A few things I did differently:

I wonder which unit is ours......

Nothing is more frustrating to color-coded kids than 5 white towels. I brought the colored cups as well. A lot less laundry and dishes to wash!

This year our per person / per day cost was $27.00. Slightly higher than last year, even with lower fuel costs, due to a few great activity ideas of my own.

A few places we experienced:
CrossPointe Community Church
Waldo-Way Dairy
Southwest Dairy Center
Waco / Magnolia
Planetarium
Waterpark
Valvoline Instant Oil Change. (No joke. They thought this was "the best thing ever"!)
Liberty Hall (Tracy Byrd)
Texas Freshwater Fisheries
Texas Small Farmers & Ranchers (Triple B Ranch)
Tyler State Park
Fort Worth Stockyards (including Cow Coliseum)
Canton Trading Days
Gator & Friends wild animal park

As I said in previous vacation posts, I don't share all this to boast or brag that we got away, but hopefully to help you take the leap to spend time with your family.  Yes, you have to take time off of work....I have to PAY people to do the work that the boys and I do at home.  If you have vacation time available, use some of it for fun-not just for doctor appointments and such. Just....Go.  After you save up the funds, of course!