Performance Pressure

There is so much performance pressure in life now that even how we spend our time off is causing anxiety. At least for me.

 

“Live in the moment”

“You don’t get this moment back”

“You only live once”

“Make the best of every moment”

“Your kids don’t get any younger”

“You don’t get a second chance”

We now have a check list of the relaxing, stress relieving things that we need to accomplish on our days off, causing more stress. Really?

 Coffee in the quiet. ✔

Run in the sunrise (crap, missed that because I was having coffee)

Sleep (how am I supposed to sleep if I am supposed to catch the sunrise?)

 

Catch up on personal projects (relaxing?)

Catch up with a good friend (but wait, I’m supposed to be spending time with the kids. I don’t get those moments back….)

I really struggle with this. I am literally torn between enjoying my coffee in the quiet, reading my devotions, thinking, or having a just a few cups and getting that morning run in, or sleeping.  My time off is so limited that I feel like if I don’t get it  just right I’ve wasted the day.

This is ridiculous. And how in the world did we get this way?

This morning I choose the coffee route. I read more than usual. I sat there longer than I should have. #1 came in from chores, the rest got up. We all sat in various spots in the kitchen. At a quarter till 8 I voiced how we should “get going”, how “we’re late getting started",  and “what should we do first?”  Along with, “I wonder what other people do on their day off.” With very loud laughter that defines my house, #1 said “They’re still sleeping!” and mimicking our former FSA officer, #2 said “this is NOT normal!” LOL. Love these kids.

Honestly….there are a few times when I just don’t tell people if I’m not being productive. If I just sat there and did nothing.  It’s not very often (oh look, back on defense) but even then I don’t want to subject myself to the judgment of the world of whether I am using my time appropriately, making the best use of every moment that we don’t get back.

It’s true-we don’t know if we get a “tomorrow”.  But worrying about that in itself is really wrecking today.

I don’t have the answer. I have a love / hate relationship with social media where we see how others are spending their time “off”, and subconsciously comparing ourselves to that. Automatically, without even realizing it. Maybe it’s less social media…somehow. But not until I share this on social media.

It’s now almost 9am. I’ve got coffee in and an impromptu blog post. That’s it. On the schedule for the day is our normal Saturday house chores, hopefully some bale moving and wrapping, and a few other odds and ends off the farm list. Better get going! I got to make sure I leave time for that check list above…

 

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3